Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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