:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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