if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
