Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
