Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
