hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
