I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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