you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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