She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
