Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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