Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
