I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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