Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
