yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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