I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
