She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
