I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
