Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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