I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
