Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
