just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
