Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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