Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
