wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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