Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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