Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
