I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
