I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
