How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
