'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
