But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
someone threw a dead crab at me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
