I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
