Dual....:-)
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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