okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
