I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
