tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am available for nakedness
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
