i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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