mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
