He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
