he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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