I wish I could teleport
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
