I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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