dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
