I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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