We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
