I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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