Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
