Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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