I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
