im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
