Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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