So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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