soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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