So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
